Medical Mamas

It’s often said that those from the medical community are the true servants of society— protecting the healthy, healing the sick, assisting the dying and bringing new life into the world. Most doctors and nurses will tell you how grueling medical and nursing school are. Long hours, lots of exams and crazy schedules accompanied by a never-ending stream of professional possibilities before them. People who choose healing others as a vocation are passionate, dedicated and have a belief in the power of hope.

With the health and wellness profession comes emotional, physical and relationship sacrifices. Because of the long, crazy hours, and high level of commitment required, women sometimes give their time, talent and love at the expense of themselves and family life. Finding balance is tricky for any busy mom these days. How do women manage who spend their time healing others?

In the spirit of gratitude for all they give and the positive difference they make in the lives of so many, Portland Family presents a few brief profiles of some pretty amazing women from the health and wellness community. Yes, these super medical moms are indeed human…

Why the medical field?

KYLE
I went into nursing to help others learn better ways of eating and integrating healthy lifestyles to maintain wellness and prevent disease. As a rookie nurse (during my first five years), I worked with very sick people—post-operative, cancer and hospice patients, so I learned firsthand the difficulties facing people with serious illnesses. This solidified my focus on keeping people well.

TAMMY
At age 7, I caused a baby chick to be injured by trying to “teach” it to fly. I’ve spent the remainder of my life trying to mend the injured and sick. In the fifth grade we wrote future autobiographies for Time magazine. My cover and story featured a portrait of me in a white coat with the caption, “Dr. Tammy De La Melena saves the world!”

LUCY
Although my father is a physician, I never thought I’d follow in his footsteps. I planned on a career in theater management in college! I got my undergraduate degree in economics, and started to think more about medicine when I studied the economics of information in the health care market: it was such a novel concept that there are incentives and disincentives on the part of every faction — from the patient, and the physician, to the payors – to share or hide information. It was the aspect of communication in medicine that I found so compelling. I started to explore women’s health issues through volunteer positions and spent time with my grandfather’s cardiologist, a strong woman doctor. We sat next to each other one Thanksgiving and she said, “You’d make a great doctor!”

MONICA
I wanted to be a doctor ever since I was a little girl. Before I was even in kindergarten, my father said I was going to be a brain surgeon. I thought I would be an oncologist, since I could think of no bigger medical problem than cancer. In medical school, my personality fit the surgical profile: anxious to find the problem and fix it, good with my hands. Neurosurgery always seemed like something someone else did, but once I rotated through the specialty, I was hooked. Nothing is more exciting, humbling, and intimate than having the privilege of operating on someone’s brain. In neurosurgery, you typically only get one chance to do it right. If you injure something, you can’t undo it. The brain and spinal cord don’t grow back.

Does being committed to the health of others come at the expense of your own?

TAMMY
I’ve cycled between periods of fitness and abandon. A few years back I made the effort to run the Chicago Marathon for the Livestrong Foundation. It was nearly impossible to find time for training runs. I assigned each mile to one of my patients as if I was dedicating time to performing an operation. I hate to admit it, but I’m frequently overdue for mammograms and dental appointments. It’s difficult to carve out time for myself.

LUCY
That is a stereotype: the children and family members of doctors and nurses tend to be neglected, and don’t get medical care until they’re really ill. I hope that’s not true for my family. Having a daily commitment to the health and wellness of others carries over to your own personal health. I’m conscious of lifestyle choices we make—not just how we spend our free time or what we eat, but also having healthy, loving relationships. I have observed time and time again how important the relationships in our lives are to health and well-being.

MONICA
I survived my seven-year residency on coffee and M&M’s, and on O.R. days even now, I get by on coffee, peanut butter, and crackers. The hours are long, and being on call nearly 24/7 can be brutal. The all-nighters get tougher as you get older.

JODY
Being up on-call all night, working with laboring women at the bedside is extremely rewarding but exhausting. It would be great if I could just go and nap, but instead I go home to my energetic toddler. I am chronically fatigued. It’s hard to balance doing a good job, being actively involved in my practice, being a good mom, being a good partner to my husband and being good to myself. There are only 24 hours in a day and something has to be sacrificed each day.

ENEIDA
Absolutely. It’s easy for someone invested in others (parents, health professionals) to spend all day doing that and not enough time on self-wellness. However, it should never be an excuse. We must lead by example and also focus on our health and wellness. Otherwise one can get burned out. Someone once taught me, “Time is not something we find, it is something we make.”

JENNIFER
Unfortunately, yes. I do not take time for myself. It’s difficult because I want to be all things to all people—my husband, my son, my family, the patients/families, my staff and friends. After all that, there’s not much time for me.

What’s something you wish people would do to take better care of themselves?

KYLE
Physical activity. I see so many women give up healthy behaviors while raising families then wonder why the weight keeps piling on and energy levels drop. I inspire my patients to find something they love and DO IT! It’s empowering to be physically fit, look younger and keep your brain sharp.

TAMMY
Make health and fitness deposits for their retirement. Exercise their bodies. What good is a 401K if your body and health impede the enjoyment of that careful savings?

LUCY
Simple lifestyle changes seem small but have a big impact: (1) Exercise every day, even if it’s just 20 minutes. Don’t think about whether you got in your five days, just do it every day, even if you can only get 10 minutes in. Go for a walk, jog up and down your stairs, do sit ups. Anything to get your heart pumping. (2) Minimize alcohol. Alcohol is a source of ‘empty’ calories and can lead to weight gain, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. I emphasize that our ‘home pour’ of a glass of wine is equivalent to at least one and a half to two or more standard servings. Guidelines recommend an average of no more than a half serving of alcohol daily. (3) Lastly, be honest about your health choices. I see people in denial. They exercise regularly but continue to smoke, or say they’re trying to lose weight while defending the white bread and pasta they eat! Healthy changes start with you. There are no magic pills.

TONI
Screenings and health maintenance, colonoscopies to mammograms—they all save LIVES. Catching cancer early equals increased survival!!! Catch it early and you beat it!

JENNIFER
Eat healthy and exercise. Over the nine years I’ve been in practice, I’ve seen more and more obese women come into my office. Many suffer health problems as a direct result of their weight. I feel helpless to change their lifestyles to get them on a healthier track.

ENEIDA
Making time for themselves and embracing a philosophy of whole wellness and balance. Our society focuses too much on what we produce and so little on who we are as a whole.

MARY ELLEN
As a pediatrician and a mom, I try to teach all of “my kids” about how to stay healthy for life. This starts with breakfast and ends with reading before bed. We have breakfast together every morning. When they were small, the rule was eat fruit before bagel, but now as big kids, they eat everything. They groan when I remind them about five a day and half your plate should be veggies. My patients hear this same message during checkups. TV and video time is limited. Exercise is daily with walking our dog, swimming, soccer, lacrosse, and biking (in summer).

Are you able to separate work stresses from family time?

TAMMY
Not well enough. There are days I’m too tired after hours of surgery to help with homework assignments or chaperone the school dance as promised. Some days sad cases come home with me and there is no cheering me up. Looking at my family only makes me sadder because I am reminded of my good fortune while recognizing my patient’s misfortune. But for the most part, my family brings me great joy and balance. I am whole with them around me.

MONICA
It’s always been difficult for me to turn off my “doctor” brain, especially if I have a sick patient. I’ve learned to trust partners who cover for me, although I check in even on vacation. My children understand that I often have to work late, leave early, work weekends, and sometimes leave in the middle of the night for an emergency. I’ve always felt guilty about leaving my children, but it’s heartwarming—if you ask them, all four will tell you that, when they grow up, they “want to be a doctor, like Mom.” My youngest son asks me every day when I get home, “How many lives did you save today?”

JODY
I do my best to make family time just about family. But I also rely on my husband as a sounding board for stressors. What is happening at work can follow me home and it’s helpful in my marriage when my husband’s up to date on what is going on. It gives him some perspective about where I may be emotionally.

ENEIDA
Most of the time, I’m able to [separate work stress from family time]. I also feel it’s important for families to talk about what they do when they are not with each other. We are a two-doctor household and our children love interrogating us about work during dinner time.

MARY ELLEN
Even though my husband and I both work full-time, we feel connected to our kids since we spend time together daily in many small chunks. Investing this time in my “home” kids and my “office” kids is how I live out my maxim, “Do something good for someone every day and have some fun every day.”

How do you unwind?

LUCY
I recently took up knitting. It’s so addictive. I also enjoy sewing. I’m always in the middle of at least three books. I love the theatre. And traveling. I’m a photography collector and a member of the Portland Art Museum’s Photo Council.

TONI
I play with my kids, who demand a hundred percent of my attention and don’t care that I am a doctor, they care that I am their mom.

MONICA
A nice, hot bath with a glass of wine. Gardening. My grandfather was a farmer, and I think I inherited that gene. I enjoy pruning roses, and even pulling weeds.

JODY
On work days, I get home and play with my son: tag, hide and seek. We go to the park or kick balls in the backyard. Letting go of my to-do list for those moments and enjoying him reenergizes me. After he goes to bed, I drink a glass of wine. On the weekends, I go for a hike or a bike ride with my family. On rare occasions I go to dinner with my friends or have a date night with my husband.

What does “healthy” mean to you?

KYLE
Emotionally happy most of the time, or at least hopeful. Energetic, strong, fit. Flexible, playful, spiritually content, able to see well, hear well, sleep well, eat colorful tasty fresh foods, curiosity, energy to share.

TAMMY
Happy and able to engage in relationships, experiences and activities unhindered by disease, chronic illness, or pain. I think the “happy” part is sometimes the hardest to reach.

TONI
Fit, able to do the things you want, unencumbered by poor health and NOT dependent on multiple prescription medications

JENNIFER
“Healthy” is about having a balance. You can achieve health without being perfect. Find the balance that works for you. My diet is not perfect, but I make sure to drink lots of water, eat some fruits and vegetables and watch my portion size. I don’t beat myself up when I eat popcorn or drink a beer.

Favorite guilty pleasures?

KYLE
Sitting with a huge bowl of popcorn popped in olive oil, topped with melted butter and LOTS of salt, with a lovely glass of red wine, and watching a movie or reading a book. I love Lindt milk chocolate, it’s my absolute favorite!

MONICA
Peanut M&M’s

JODY
Dessert. I would have dessert every day if I could … probably multiple times a day. I would even have dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner if it were nutritious … but then it wouldn’t be dessert.

JENNIFER
Chicago Mix popcorn! An ice-cold beer sitting on the back porch after my son goes to bed!

One of your favorite things about being a mother?

TAMMY
Hearing, “Thanks, Mom.”

TONI
Everything. It’s the best thing I have ever done. The best day of my life was the day my first child was born, the day I became a mom.

ENEIDA
Motherhood is life’s most fascinating experiment. It’s amazing to be such an integral part of the development of another human being. My favorite part is how different children from the same parents can be.

MARY ELLEN
Kids have a fresh eye for the world and need good role models to learn how to take over from us when it’s their turn. They are also painfully, entertainingly honest and are living NOW (that’s the fun part)!

Surprising tidbit about you?

TAMMY
I still have my first paystub from my first job (age 14). I used to paint (on canvas). I made my own wedding dress.

TONI
I can turn my eyelids inside out!

MONICA
I hate bleeding.

JODY
I lived in Costa Rica for three years after college, teaching English; I took a year of Chemistry in SPANISH at the University of Costa Rica in preparation for nursing school.

ENEDIA
I am not a big fan of heights. Every time I take the OHSU tram I get butterflies in my stomach!

Tags: featured, full-image

Category: 2012_September, Motherhood, Parenting