Author Archive: Matthew
30-minute snapshot
By Matthew Sherman Pre-Elliott, Shelbi and I were fairly punctual people. You certainly couldn’t set your watches by us but I would say we both have decent time management skills. Of course, all of that has pretty much gone down the crapper now. It’s been almost a year and we are still constantly underestimating how [...]
Supermarket stereotypes
Everything the stay-at-home mom needs, right? Because after you feed your baby and change his diaper, it’s time for soap operas, a pedicure and some bon-bons while the baby entertains itself in the playpen.
Piercing the Darkness
By Matthew Sherman We experienced baby’s first power outage last night. It wasn’t a big deal. Once we got candles and flashlights etc… it was actually kind of fun to watch Elliott’s reaction. He was mesmerized by the candles and why wouldn’t he be? They instantly became the single most dangerous thing in the house [...]
My son the bully
By Matthew Sherman I have never thrown a punch in my life. Nor, to my recollection, have I ever had a punch thrown in my direction. In fact, if someone was to ask me what’s the closest I’ve been to getting into a physical altercation with someone I honestly wouldn’t have an answer. From roughly [...]
Getting efficient
Shelbi and I used to live directly across the street from a Safeway. It was at once tremendously convenient and also a disastrous enabler of some of our bad habits. It became a running joke how many times one or both of us would end up at Safeway and we estimated that, in a given week, someone made an appearance at Safeway an average of 5.3 times. It was ridiculous. We had our favorite check-out person (the sardonic Asian woman who gave you a knowing look when someone wanted to split their groceries onto three separate checks), knew what time the south entrance was locked and could judge the changing seasons by how many teenagers were hanging out in the parking lot at midnight.
Toy story
I have come to realize that many of the most effective “toys” (i.e. anything that keeps Elliott from climbing the bookshelves) are normal household objects. So here is a convenient consumer report on the top five extremely viable “toys” that, had I discovered them earlier, would have saved me at least $50.
Please, please PLEASE stay asleep
In the past year, we have eaten dinner as early as 3:45 and as late as 10:15.
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