It was shocking when we were told this perfect, healthy-looking child would need a very complicated corrective surgery. She weighed only six pounds. The brilliant surgeons at Randall Children’s Hospital at Legacy Emanuel worked on the equivalent of a wet spaghetti noodle to attach a crucial link connecting her heart to her left lung.

Eight hours after surgery, Lucy had a cardiac arrest. I had no understanding of what that meant. The word “heart,” a source of emotion, but also a functioning organ that was the size of a walnut, had failed. Dr. Le Gras, her cardiologist, was at her bedside when it happened. He massaged her heart with his hands for a half-hour before it was able to beat on its own. We were told her chances of survival were slim. Her only chance to live was to put her on a machine called ECMO. This machine performs the functions of the heart and lungs. It can destroy your brain and body after four days. Very few babies survive this.

Praying became part of our saving grace. The family held a vigil at the hospital for four days, while time was becoming our enemy. As they tried to take her off ECMO, Lucy did not respond. A plug into an electrical socket could keep her alive or take life from her.

The tragedy brought our family so close. I saw many things that people my age don’t get to see. I saw grown people cry from their heart. I saw a doctor tell us that there was little hope left and open his heart to us. I saw unwavering love from family and friends. I saw a priest give my daughter her last rites. I saw my baby’s heart beating because they had to leave her chest open for several days because of swelling.

Then little miracles started to happen. I saw hope. I saw the pleasure a blinking eye can bring when hopes are high and expectations are low. I saw a baby whose heart was open for the world to see, both physically and emotionally. I saw into the heart of everyone I loved. I believe God answered all of our prayers. Lucy blinked and opened her eyes, her heart started to respond, and they unplugged the machine. Lucy fought, she blinked, her toe wiggled, her heart beat. She was far from fixed but hope was everywhere. Can you will someone to survive? Can all of your hearts work in unison to ask for a miracle? I still do not know, but for Lucy it had worked.

After two months and nine operations Lucy came home. Her cardiologist discharged her with a grave warning to her dad and I that even a common cold could kill her. Operation Quarantine began. My husband Pat took showers and changed his clothes when he got home from work, before seeing Lucy. I went to the grocery store at night and took a shower afterwards, so all outside germs stayed away from Lucy. I had a spreadsheet schedule of feedings and medicine that kept me busy at two-hour intervals 24 hours a day. The next eight months were not easy. Lucy had 52 visits with 11 different specialists. She had to be fed through a tube coming out of her abdominal wall and had to take multiple medications. At age 10 months, she had her definitive repair. From our experience, we expected the worst. But she was home in five days! She has had three surgeries since then, and will need more in the future.

It’s been 10 years now, and surprisingly, all of that is really a distant memory. Constant worry has been reduced to occasional worry. We prefer that Lucy not be defined by her heart defect, but it has shaped our lives and what we do with our “giving” time. We made a lot of promises to God that we would give back if we could keep her. We are regular volunteers with the American Heart Association and the congenital heart support group at Randall Children’s Hospital at Legacy Emanuel. Lucy is the youngest Ambassador for the American Heart Association. There is nothing we can do to control the anomalies in Lucy’s heart or her surgical future but we follow the AHA guidelines to do what is in our power. Mainly, we make sure our family exercises, eats well and gets plenty of sleep.

Lucy has not only survived. She has thrived. She is a regular fourth-grade girl that is busy with softball, basketball, piano and gymnastics. She shows no signs of any deficits in spite of everything she went through. She’s amazed us with her wit, intelligence and ability to make us happy. I sometimes think of what would have happened had she not made it. What would this have taught me about life? Could it have possibly taught me as much as it has by Lucy surviving?

We were chosen to be her parents in November, but didn’t get to bring her home until May. She was a straight adoptive placement through the foster care system, but we were in Florida and she was in Texas. ICPC (Interstate Compact and the Placement of Children, a social service contract among participating states) and other aspects of the process took forever.

We weren’t allowed any contact with her during those six months. She was actually in a group home during that time. She was moved there just a couple weeks after we were matched because her foster family was no longer willing to work with her aggression and tantrums. She was clearly a child in pain. We knew it and agreed to be her parents anyway. We felt strongly that her behavior was situational and that she needed the right environment and help to sort it out. We thought we could give it to her.

Being approved to be the parents of a child that is so obviously hurting and in need of your support, but having to wait for six months of paperwork, is torture. Our home and hearts were ready for her, but she was placed in a group home and didn’t even know we existed.

Once ICPC cleared, we were finally allowed to send her a photo book and she was told that she was going to be adopted. We flew to Texas two weeks later. We met her on a Monday and visited with her for a couple hours after school each day that week. On Friday she was ours forever. Within a few short weeks, she found out she was going to be adopted and moved to another state with people she had met just days before.

No amount of research, adoption classes or book reading can prepare you for life with a traumatized child. They call older child adoption “special needs” adoption for a reason. Her special needs are real and they are vast. Fear, anxiety, anger, grief, shame and confusion are swirling around inside her all the time. It is not uncommon for her behavior to reflect all the pain she has inside. We get it. We understand. That doesn’t mean it isn’t hard or that we don’t get overwhelmed, exhausted or lose our cool sometimes.

One of the hardest parts is the isolation. It is very difficult for people to understand all that we’re going through. A loving home is not enough. Children who have been through trauma don’t just need “time to settle in.” Traditional discipline structure or parenting styles are usually ineffective with traumatized children. People become uncomfortable with the truth about how things are really going at home, so many parents stop sharing. Traumatized children often act very differently when they are around others than they do at home. Parents of recently adopted children often start to get the feeling that people think they are the source of the problem.

Parents of kids with trauma and attachment issues need to be seen as the authority figures all the time. An attaching child needs to learn to depend on their parents to meet their needs, comfort them, keep them safe and give them affection. We have had to cut people out of our lives who refused to accept and respect our roles as parents of a hurt child.

It can even be difficult to find professionals that get it. Teachers, pediatricians and mental health providers might not take the parents’ concerns seriously because the child doesn’t show them the pain. They save that just for their parents in privacy. Our daughter is on the honor roll at school and has won awards for her positive behavior choices. The school wants to drop the IEP for emotional disability that we carried over from her last school in Texas. The month before they brought this up, we had to call 911 because she was having such an epic meltdown due to big feelings brought on by Mother’s Day that we weren’t sure of our ability to keep her safe. All three of us wound up with bruises, scrapes and scratches. All inflicted by her. She caved in the roof of my car. She may not show it at school right now, but her emotional needs are high.

We have had no luck in finding a therapist in our area that understands trauma and attachment. We tried three different mental health clinics. Bad therapy is worse than no therapy. We work hard on our own at helping our daughter process her past and her feelings. Therapeutic parenting has been very effective and she has made great progress. Therapists in the past have not been helpful. In fact, we have to do a lot of work to keep some of them from being harmful. Unfortunately, getting medication for her anxiety prescribed without weekly therapy sessions is tricky. Her pediatrician won’t prescribe anxiety medication and other resources are extremely scarce. This is a common scenario for families who do not live in or near large cities.

The challenges are often glossed over when agencies are recruiting parents for children in foster care. I think it is important that people understand this journey is difficult, will change your life in every way and you will likely have to face it on your own. Older child adoption is doable. It’s worth it. Progress, hope and healing are attainable. Our daughter shows us this every day. We have not regretted becoming her parents for a moment.

Rachael Moshman is a lifelong Florida resident, but hates the heat. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in education with focuses in early childhood, infant/toddler development and special needs. She has been a resource, trainer and mentor for area childcare workers and preschool teachers, as well as for families of young children for many years. She has recently begun a freelance writing career. Her greatest accomplishment is becoming the last mom to an amazing little girl through foster care adoption. In addition to her husband and daughter, she lives with two cats and a mannequin named Vivian. She is a magazine junky, own too many shoes and collects tons of recipes that she never attempts to make.

Single parents have important (and seemingly endless) responsibilities. Unless you have super powers, the stress of doing it all yourself can be overwhelming. But asking for assistance isn’t easy.

“It can be an act of tremendous courage, humility or coordination to seek out help,” says Suzanne Harrington, M.A., a family counselor in Kelowna, British Columbia. Single parents want to feel competent and in control and asking for help can make us feel weak or inadequate.

Even if you know you need help, you may feel you have few resources. “Today’s families are quite isolated from extended family and community,” says Harrington. People we might ask for help are not always accessible. Grandparents may be far away, busy with their own lives or unwilling to take on childcare responsibilities. Feelings of mistrust or concerns that help-seeking might be used against you in an acrimonious custody dispute may prevent you from seeking an ex-spouse’s assistance.

Listen Up, Stressed-Out Superheroes

Even if you’ve got it under control, doing it all yourself isn’t wise. Studies show social support diminishes the negative health effects of stress, including coronary disease and immune suppression, and boosts your sense of personal balance and well-being. You’ll have more energy and a more positive outlook if you develop a team of trusted helpers around you.

Parents who seek help can model reciprocity, humbleness, and gratitude, says Harrington. Kids also gain exposure to other role models. “It benefits children so much to have other adults interacting with them,” says Tammy Gold, MSW, a parent coach and psychotherapist who practices in New York and New Jersey. This is especially true when a single mom gets help from her father, Gold says, because the child is nurtured by both female and male family members.

The helping community you create for your kids will likely inspire them to pitch in, too. Even young children want to feel like important members of the household, says Donna Genett, PhD, author of “Help Your Kids Get it Done Right at Home and at School.” Pitching in builds kids’ competence and provides a sense of accomplishment and belonging.

Discovering the Joys of Teamwork

Slow down, superhero. Follow these steps to reach out and reconnect with sources of support.

Identify Needs. Start out by figuring out what concrete help would be most beneficial, Harrington advises. Perhaps you need childcare so you can work, attend school, get counseling, or just relax. A home-cooked meal once a week might lift your burden and brighten your spirits. The more specific your needs, the easier it will be to get help.

Brainstorm Buddies. Develop a list of resources, including family and friends, and church and community services. Don’t be afraid to put formal sources of support, such as counseling groups, on your list. Individual or group therapy can help you heal after divorce and learn to thrive as a single parent.

Talk Teamwork. If you’re on good terms with your ex, have a conversation about your parenting roles. Take a problem-solving approach. Say, “The kids need more help with science homework than I can give them,” rather than, “You never help the kids with homework.”

Play to Others’ Strengths. Consider who is best at what and take preferences into account. If the kids’ grandparents get frazzled by babysitting, they might prefer to host a family dinner once a week to stay involved and give you a break. That’s okay. You want this to be a win-win situation.

Help Kids Help You. Determine what kinds of contributions are age-appropriate for each child. Your 6-year-old may be too young to vacuum, but she can set the table or sort the recycling. Older kids can take turns folding laundry or helping put away groceries. Be sure to praise kids for work well-done.

Be Clear. When you seek help, explain exactly what you want. Misunderstandings happen when we assume others know our expectations. If you want the bathroom squeaky-clean, explain what clean means: towels hung up neatly, bath toys picked up, toilet and tub scrubbed, floor mopped. Set helpers up for success.

Praise Progress. You may not get the results you want right away, but be generous with your appreciation. Recognize others’ efforts, instead of focusing on their shortcomings. When you’re sure they know how much you value their help, explain how they could improve. Then say thanks (again). You really can’t thank them enough.

The pressure to be a single-parent-superhero can be strong, and you may avoid asking for help because you fear you can’t reciprocate. “People don’t help because they expect your assistance in return,” says Gold. They help because they love you and care about your family. Remind yourself that everyone benefits from meaningful social connections and take pride in the helpful community you’re creating for yourself and your kids.

Heidi Smith Luedtke is a personality psychologist and mom of two who has learned the benefits of seeking help when times are tough. Get more psychology lessons for life at heidiluedtke.com

Black History Month is a good time for Oregonians to learn more about the contributions of African-Americans before and after our state’s admittance into the Union in 1859. A good place to start is Oregon Northwest Black Pioneers (ONWBP), a non-profit organization based in Salem. Founded in 1993, ONWBP does presentations, exhibits and youth development activities, as well as providing college scholarships to students with African-American heritage. ONWBP recently published “Perseverance: A History of African-Americans in Oregon’s Marion and Polk Counties” last year. The book is available to purchase on their site and you can read a sample as well.

Gwen Carr is a volunteer who does both research and ONWBP presentations at schools (from 4^th grade up), colleges and civic organizations throughout Oregon.

“A lot of black people here don’t know anything about Oregon African-American history, and, as a consequence, may not feel a connection to the area,” said Carr. “For children particularly, knowing the history helps them feel grounded. It’s something for parents think about. Oregon is a great state that belongs to all of us.”

When you go to ONWBP’s Website, you get a taste of the stories they have gathered over the years and what you might learn in a presentation.

For instance, John Livingstone, a Missouri-born slave that was freed during the Civil War, came to Oregon with one of the sons of his former master. He worked for the family for many years, while saving up enough money to start his own business. When he died in 1912, he owned 180 acres of land in Eastern Oregon and his estate was valued at $15,000. And one of the greatest rodeo stars in history was an African-American from Oregon. George Fletcher got his start in the Pendleton Round-Up and became known as “the people’s champion.” He was active in the rodeo until his death in 1973.

While on the road presenting, ONWBP has the opportunity to gather more stories from around the state about African-Americans.

“As we travel and meet people, we try to encourage them to save artifacts and look at their family histories,” said Carr. “If it’s not documented, we can’t preserve it.”

School presentations are usually the result of a parent or teacher who saw an ONWBP presentation elsewhere. If your child’s school is hosting an ONWBP event, they will be in for a treat. Carr usually dresses in period costume for the younger grades or, for the older grades, asks a female student if she would like to try the clothes on. Carr says she takes into account what children and teens are learning at the time about history.

“For instance, if they are learning about the Oregon Trail, I will highlight that there were indeed black people involved in that,” said Carr. “I’ll ask them how would you go to the bathroom [on the Oregon Trail]? Behind a tree? What if you’re in the desert? Behind a rock? They have a lot of fun trying to answer that question.”

With older grades, the conversation will turn to how racism evolved in Oregon with the Ku Klux Klan and the “sundown laws”, unofficial laws which prohibited blacks from staying in a town after the sun went down.

A fun way for kids to learn more local black history is the Oregon Historical Society’s Family Fun Day. ONWBP has an exhibit there that includes a wooden jigsaw puzzle of Oregon divided by counties.

ONWBP is also in the planning stages of creating an Oregon African-American museum. This project won’t be completed for at least five years. Carr says they want to take their time and do it right.

“We want to make it a great place for people to not only come and view artifacts but for it to be a gathering place, too,” said Carr.

There are ONWBP events going on all year around, but the busiest times are during January, because of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday, and February, Black History Month. Highlights include:

• High Desert Museum exhibit, Bend: In collaboration with the High Desert Museum in Bend, an exhibit called “Black Impact: African-Americans in the West” opened in January and will run until March. For more information, go to www.highdesertmuseum.org or call 541.382.4754.
• World Beat Gallery exhibit, Salem: On February 1, “Perseverance: Early Oregon” will open at the World Beat Gallery in Salem at the Salem Multicultural Institute.  For more information, go to www.salemmulticultural.org or call 503.581.2004.
• Annual Fundraising Gala, Salem: The ONWBP will host their annual fundraising gala on February 11, 2012, at the Salem Conference Center. Student scholarships will be awarded at this time.

For information on more events through 2012, call ONWBP at 503.540.4063 or visit their site at www.oregonnorthwestblackpioneers.org.

1. List your family’s strengths and passions
Make a quick list of things your family likes and is good at. Do you love nature and being outdoors? Do you enjoy music, art or dance? Is someone in the family good at organizing or building things? List a few passions and strengths for each member of your family. After you’ve made the list, look for any themes. Is there one strength or passion that you all have in common? Does it revolve around nature or the arts?

2. List the needs of your community
Make a second list of needs in your community. This can include citywide needs to needs in your neighborhood. Browse a newspaper to help identify needs.

3. Compare your passions with the community’s needs
American writer Frederick Buechner said that people’s callings are found in the places where their “deep gladness” and the “world’s deep hunger” meet. Do you see any passions and needs on your lists that look like a match? If gardening is one of your family’s passions and you’re aware that food banks usually lack fresh produce, this might be a match. Circle any passions and needs on your lists that might be a match. Don’t worry if you don’t see any potential matches. People often discover new passions as they volunteer.

4. Research nonprofit organizations
Using the needs you circled, do a web search for local nonprofit organizations working on those needs. (If you didn’t circle any, choose two needs that stand out to you.) Hands On Greater Portland (www.handsonportland.org) is a nonprofit that serves as a hub for approximately 300 partner organizations in the Portland area. Their website helps connect volunteers to service opportunities using a variety of filters such as: When are you available? What would you like to do? Who would you like to serve? What is your age?

5. Contact two organizations
Once you have a feel for a couple of organizations, contact them. Call or email the organization to ask about volunteer opportunities for families. Tell them the ages of your children so they can give you the best options for your family.

6. Serve as a learner
When the day arrives, set a fun and positive tone and approach your volunteer service with humility. Pay attention to those around you to see what you can learn from staff, other volunteers, and your children. In their innocence and simplicity, children often show love in beautiful, profound ways.

7. Celebrate
Mother Teresa said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” After you volunteer, consider going out for a special treat to celebrate the small things you accomplished. Tell your children what you saw in them as they volunteered that inspired you.

Marta Oti Sears is a freelance writer doing her best to nurture compassion in her 10-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son.

Hands on Greater Portland will help you make a meaningful difference in your community in a way that fits your life, time capacity, passions and interests. Hands On Greater Portland connects you with a volunteer opportunity that makes a rewarding local change. Build a house. Tutor a child. Care for abandoned pets. Build hiking trails. Lead a volunteer group. Join a nonprofit board.

Whether you are working, parenting, in school or retired, Hands On Greater Portland offers you a variety of ways to get involved while meeting your schedule and interests. Volunteer for a one-time project. Volunteer for a few weeks. Volunteer after work or on the weekends. Volunteer alone, with family, friends or co-workers.

Join people from all backgrounds and experiences, explore and learn about issues that shape our community and develop leadership and job skills. Get connected and have fun. It is in this spirit that the Portland Trail Blazers and Hands on Greater Portland use the Heart of the Community Awards to share stories, inspire others and honor the many people who dedicate countless hours of love and compassion to help others in need.

This year’s event takes place Tuesday, Feb.7th, from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm at the Governor Hotel in Portland. For this year’s 11th anniversary event, the Portland Trail Blazers and Hands on Portland are honoring some amazing people. Brief profiles of some of the winners below inspire us to think about what we can do in our lives to help others and “make it better.” Ultimately, isn’t that the point? For more information about the event, winners and how to make it better in your community, go to www.handsonportland.org.

Heart of the Community Award

In loving memory of Rob Ingram, community leader, father, advocate. For Rob, supporting young people and helping them find alternatives to gang involvement was more than a job. It was his life’s work.

Corporate Volunteer Program

Oregon Health Science University is not only among the region’s top employers; OHSU leads the way in encouraging its thousands of employees to give back to the community.

Hands On Greater Portland Volunteer Award

Terry Clelen is considered the Godmother of Employee Volunteering through her efforts at PGE and in sharing her successes with dozens of other employers.

Individual Volunteer Award

Terrance Harris astonishes us with the seemingly boundless energy he has for building strong families through his own volunteering and connecting others with service.

Volunteer Innovation Award

Community Volunteer Corps (a Central City Concern program) engages formerly homeless people in meaningful, mentored volunteer opportunities as an interim step towards employment and therapeutic activity that supports a healthy lifestyle.

Nathan Sibell Youth Leadership Award

Milo Lopez is a student, leader, activist, and above all a caring young man. His passion is bringing youth into the conversation about health care. With his ambition, strength, compassion and self-determination, Milo will bring great benefits to his own life and our community.

Of course, because of Fairbanks’ far-northern latitude, there’s the vast contrast of seasons. The January sky backdrops a frozen sun which barely rises above the horizon, and even then for only a few hours, accompanied by sub-zero temperatures. The 75-degree July summer sun supplies nearly 23 hours of daylight and sets only long enough to be able to rise again. Yes, you can go golfing at 2 or 3 in the morning and have enough daylight to do so!

Since we in the Northwest love the outdoors, Fairbanks is an ideal choice to plan a family outing filled with recreation and adventure. Fairbanks is considered a gateway hub to many of Alaska’s greatest environmental gems, including the 20,320 ft. peak Mt. McKinley and Denali National Park. Six million acres of pristine forest packed with sparkling rivers, lakes, dramatic snow-capped vistas and colorful meadows are a two-hour drive from Fairbanks. For the true adventurer, there is exploring the Arctic region through guided eco or wildlife tours, visiting rural villages, fly fishing or witnessing migrating caribou.

Seasons dictate the type of excursion you have. Fairbanks has an active calendar of year-round events to accommodate the season. Summer has plenty of art walks, festivals, fairs and runs. Stores, attractions, sporting events and restaurants are open late hours because of the ever-present sunlight. Locals are active, enjoying the warmth and beauty of the great outdoors. The average temperature in the summer is near 80 degrees. Hiking trails and exploring rivers, mountains, streams, birds and wildlife allow you to enjoy Alaska’s richest bounty.

In the winter, all the activities are about ice and snow, including ice fishing, ice sculpting, ice skating on frozen ponds, cross-country and downhill snow skiing, dog sledding competitions, hockey tournaments and snow mobiling. The key to visiting Fairbanks in the winter is planning ahead, especially when it comes to packing. Bringing the right gear that you can layer such as long-sleeved shirts, long johns, turtlenecks, mittens and snow gear, including pants and warm coats, is critical. Temperatures can reach 30 to 40 degrees below zero, though according to the National Weather

Service, since 1922 the average number of days each year that it has been minus-30 degrees or colder all day has been two in December and three in January, which isn’t as harsh as perceptions dictate. Yet, make no mistake: it’s cold.
There are a number of family-centric indoor activities to check out. One of the more popular destinations is the Fountainhead Antique Automobile Museum. Open Sundays in the winter and seven days a week in the summer, the 30,000-square-foot antique auto and fashion museum displays one of the most impressive collections of antique cars you’ll find. From horseless carriages of the late 1800s to the gleaming luxury cars of the late 1930s, each auto signifies a major development in the technology of American automobiles. Early steam, electric and hybrid cars are on display, including Alaska’s first automobile and the first American production car with front-wheel drive.

Ladies, don’t fret. If cars aren’t your thing, then the gorgeous heirloom dresses, hats, jackets and shoes will knock your knickers off. Beautifully ornate outfits spanning 150 years, from Victorian times to the early swing era, are artfully displayed throughout the museum, including stunning silk beaded gowns from the Titanic era and rich Chantilly lace creations. The colors, textures and fabrics of these historical treasures are a delight.

Another surefire way to get a glimpse into Alaska’s unique history and terrain is to head over to the Museum of the North on the University of Alaska’s campus. Open year-round, the museum’s collection is a research treasure trove. The 1.4 million artifacts and specimens represent millions of years of biological diversity, and thousands of years of the North’s cultural traditions. Because this region is so unique, intricate systems of ecology, culture and geography have intersected to cast an exceptional landscape of human and wildlife development. The glimpse into the past includes some very rare pieces covering a 2,000-year spectrum of Alaska art, from ivory carvings to contemporary paintings and sculpture, the state’s largest public display of gold, and Blue Babe, a 36,000-year-old mummified steppe bison. The guided audio tour available for rent is helpful and recommended. Other treats are the ever-changing sound and light installation driven by the real-time positions of the sun and moon, a display showing seismic activity and the aurora in tThe “Place Where You Go to Listen” installation.

For additional insight into the culture and history of the Fairbanks region, make a stop at the Morris Thompson Cultural and Visitors Center. Not only will you get friendly, knowledgeable staff to help answer questions about tours, lodging, dining and cultural activities, this year-round hub of resourceful information also showcases interpretative displays about the Alaskan people, landscapes and distinct seasons. There is also an artisans’ workshop demonstration area and an Elders elders gathering space. After perusing the displays, stop to browse the many locally crafted goods in the gift shop.

One of the more extraordinary tourist stops in the Fairbanks area is the Aurora Ice Museum housed at Chena Hot Springs Resort. Both are uniquely Alaskan and will create lasting memories you’ll never forget. Chena Hot Springs, founded over 100 years ago, is located 60 miles outside of Fairbanks in a beautifully remote little valley. World famous for its legendary, naturally occurring, 105-degree healing mineral waters composed of a complex variety of minerals, the springs at this resort are fed by 3000-foot deep underground circulating water from thousands of years, which attracts the earth’s heat and then “short circuits” back up to the surface, through fractures in the granite rock beneath the hot springs area.

The chest-high pools for those aged 18+ are surrounded by beautiful trees and solitude. It’s believed that by bathing in hot springs mineral water, poor health conditions related to skin, circulation, the respiratory system, muscular pain and arthritis may be relieved. It’s quite a sensory experience to be immersed in over 100-degree water while it’s near zero outside. These magical springs are also used at the resort for some highly innovative geothermal production projects which have attracted national and international attention. Tours of the plant projects are available.

Depending upon the season, Chena Hot Springs Resort offers a host of activities. During the winter, there’s cross-country skiing, sled dog kennel tours, snowmobile and sleigh rides. In the summer months you can bike, hike, canoe, fish, rent ATVs, raft and go horseback riding. Sun or snow, on the premises is the Aurora Ice Museum. A constant 20 degrees inside, the museum offers views of huge, intricate sculptures carved from large blocks of ice, including a large bar-seating area with ice stools where you can have a delicious appletini in a glass made from ice! The museum features a gallery of ever-changing sculptures such as life-sized jousting knights and overhead chandeliers made of individually carved ice crystals, which change color every six seconds mimicking the northern lights. The architects of most of the art are the museum’s “residents,” 15-time World Ice Art Champion Steve Brice and his wife, Heather, a six-time World Ice Art Champion.

A main attraction of Chena Hot Springs Resort is its remote location and perfect setting for viewing Fairbanks’ stellar Aurora Borealis displays. During cold, crisp winter months and into early spring, the Northern Lights are a naturally occurring phenomenon, which periodically overtake the Alaskan sky. Colors can range from brilliant green, red, purple and yellow, as ribbons of lights swirl in the sky above. The displays are visible any cloudless night from anywhere in Fairbanks; for the most dramatic impact, a dark, light-pollution-free sky is optimum. Light displays are mostly visible in the late night to early morning hours and occur an average of eight out of 10 nights.

As with the nighttime sky, Fairbanks is full of natural surprises and should be considered for a family adventure. The people are friendly, most excursions are accessible within a short driving distance or right in town, and it’s an experience to be part of such seasonal extremes. It would be fair[banks] to say that there’s plenty to see and you and your family would have a rare opportunity to immerse yourselves in some vast, amazing terrain—which in a busy, crowded world, is a gift unto itself.

Cinderella, Vivian Ward (“Pretty Woman”) and Eliza Doolittle. What do these three fictitious characters have in common? They all transformed the way they looked, which dramatically changed their lives. You may recall that Cinderella was transformed in the twinkling of an eye by her fairy godmother; and Julia Roberts’ “Pretty Woman” character Vivian Ward was transformed in one day, thanks to the credit cards of her benefactor and the exclusive shops on Rodeo Drive.

On the other hand, Eliza Doolittle, heroine of the classic film “My Fair Lady” was transformed over many, many months by the aristocratic Professor Henry Higgins. He coached her on every element of image from head to toe, including body language and elocution. It was a slow process, because whether he knew it or not, he was also changing her character and the very essence of who she felt she was. Going from scraggly street urchin to elegant refined lady isn’t achieved in the twinkling of an eye nor without a great deal of effort — and even greater personal growth. Eliza Doolittle changed her image, and she changed her life.

If you want to transform your image, be prepared to transform your attitude about yourself, just as Eliza Doolittle did. In the process, you’ll increase your presence and your self-esteem dramatically. Here are five tips for transforming your image:

1. Acquire a clear understanding of color and how it affects your appearance on two different levels. At the most basic level, you’ll determine the colors that make you look more attractive. For most women, clear primary colors like red, fuchsia, magenta, royal blue, emerald green, black and navy are the most flattering. Drab colors like olive green, mustard, slate blue and beige are less flattering.
2. Discover the profound psychological effect colors elicit from others. For example, the darker the color, the higher the authority you’ll project. Pastels are favored by many women, but they convey low authority and can decrease credibility.

   Naturally, black is highly authoritative, but it could cause you to be perceived as stern or forbidding. You must “dilute” black’s severity so that you wear it instead of it wearing you. The best way is to avoid teaming black with drab or harsh colors, like orange, and that includes lipstick. Pink, on the other hand, is soft and feminine, so it immediately diminishes black’s perceived severity. Pink is for girls, orange is for guys, like the Marlboro man. A lipstick and blusher in pink tones will let you own black when you wear it.

3. Wear dynamic accessories. A suit or ensemble without accessories is like a cake without icing. Accessories are also one of the best ways to tame black (and other dark colors), so they look dynamic instead of somber. Add bold earrings and a dramatic brooch or necklace and you’ll immediately take on the air of a self-assured and important woman of the world, à la Eliza Doolittle. Good earring styles are chunky hoops (not thin wire ones) and classic doorknockers. Leave giant hoops and dangly earrings for teens.
4. Wear professional makeup that looks natural but sophisticated. Brown-toned lipstick doesn’t look natural no matter what the ads say, plus it can make your teeth look yellow. Heavy powdery foundation, bright eye shadow, and black eyeliner are not your friends. Foundations with a subtle pink undertone are the most flattering; avoid those with visible yellow undertones, because they cause you to look more made-up.
5. Go for quality rather than quantity. It is truly better to have one perfectly-tailored jacket in a quality fabric in your best color than many cheap items in an array of colors that are “in fashion.” Wearing what’s in style is not the same as having style. Begin the process of developing your signature image. Collect jackets or tops in your best colors, wear them with statement-making accessories, and you’ll turn heads and own the room.

It may be painful to get rid of perfectly good garments, and sometimes it takes a while before you can do so. Don’t worry, it’s normal. However, like Eliza Doolittle, once you’ve begun to leave your former self behind and become the person you were born to be, you will let go of all kinds of things, including expensive garments in the wrong colors! It’s truly better to be in a simple shell in a fabulous color than a designer suit in the wrong color, because the wrong color can make you look tired, older, unfriendly or even sick.

You may be surprised to hear that we don’t choose colors or clothing from the results in the mirror. We choose them from the heart and soul, which we sometimes call “good taste” and “instincts.” Neither will help you if your goal is looking better. The other source we make our choices from is habit, and most of us are buried in an avalanche of bad habits. You’d be amazed at how many colors you “love” that don’t love you back in the mirror. Once you gain the awareness that color is the most important component of your image, you’ll take the time to discover the colors that can enable you to own the room.

Pretty soon, you’ll say to yourself, “I’m getting rid of everything that doesn’t make me look like the fabulous person that I know I am!” It’s exhilarating to look in the mirror and see an image that makes you smile with satisfaction. It’s even more exhilarating to know that you own that image.

Sandy Dumont is a veteran image consultant with 30 years of experience helping women become more successful and empowered through the use of image skills. She is the author of the eBook, “Seven Days to a Brand New You.”