All in a Day's Work
By: Brooke Strickland
I was recently on the Oregon Coast for a weekend getaway and stopped by a neighborhood grocery market that has been open for many years. While paying for my necessities (cookies, chocolate donuts, and gum), the owner, probably in his early 70s, was working the cash register, and chatted with me like I was the only customer in the store. The price tags were mostly handwritten, the store design was a little outdated, but boy, did I feel like part of the local scene! Some locally owned family businesses give you that warm and fuzzy feeling when you shop from them, but have you stopped to think about the struggles as well as the joys of working with family in business?
There’s so much that goes into running a business. For business owners out there, you know what I’m talking about. You can never just have one role—at one time or another you’re playing trainer, executive, janitor, or bookkeeper. Heather Mitchoff of Doris Ford Cleaning Service and DeGraphic Design says, “Ha! Title! That’s funny. When you own your own business . . . you better be ready to dig in and do what needs to be done. There’s no room for ‘that’s not my job.’” Michele Dow, who worked for more than four years with her family at Yard ‘N Garden Land as a gift buyer, said that many times, family members would pick up extra hours to fill in the gaps to save the company money. The U.S. Small Business Administration recommends that family businesses establish a clear chain of command with defined roles, as well as a plan to accomplish goals. This can help alleviate the burden of one person doing too much, and it also provides a sense of ownership for all of the family members working in the business.
More than 80% of businesses today are family-owned, making them an important part of the world’s economy. Even if it’s a large company like Pritzkers or McMenamins, both of which are still managed by family members, there is a lot of hard work and creativity that must go into staying afloat in a down economy. Many businesses are family run because of the lifestyle benefits that come with it, such as flexibility, independence, and the established trust with those you work with.
But how does it really affect relationships when you’re working with family members five days (sometimes more) of the week? Family businesses can bring a unique set of challenges to the table. Mitchoff says that she and her mom are very close but they still irritate each other and can sometimes disagree about how to deal with the business. She says, “I think it puts your relationship under a microscope, so be mindful of that in deciding to work with family.” Dow said that the family business positively affected her relationship with her family. “I knew each day that when I went to work I would get to see some member of my family and spend the day working with them . . . though it was mostly proximity time and not quality time.” She goes on to say that working with family was also hard at times because conversation usually steered back to work-related topics, but she also remembers growing up and spending time at the business knowing it was a safe place to play as well as learn. Ellisa Brenneman and her husband Christian, owners of Ethos 360, a consulting firm for entrepreneurs, talk about the benefits of being close to a loved one all day. Ellisa says, “There is no kiss goodbye. There’s always someone on the exact same page who you can bounce ideas off of at the first opportunity . . . no leaving messages, no waiting at the phone.” She also says that they have opposite styles. “He’s the hot, I’m the cold.” For them, this balances out nicely, but for others it can be a challenge. When family behavior falls short of ideal, it’s more important than even that allegiance to specific family members doesn’t hamper running the business.
As the economy fluctuates, family businesses must creatively adapt, as others must, to have an edge in an ever-changing marketplace. Michele Gray knows this. When business was slow for her and her husband’s UpTown Ballroom dance school, they diversified and opened a dancewear clothing line, Alchemy Ballroom Dancewear. She explains, “It’s great to have some control over our profitability.” Dance is their passion, and business comes second. She and her husband, Jim, danced together professionally first before they decided to open a business together. She says, “We were prepared for the stress of doing business together. Compared to that, being married is a cakewalk.” For them, they knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses pretty well before being in business together. “Even though I’m not the most naturally organized person, I’ve taken over the scheduling because at least I’m more organized than he is!” To minimize potentially stressful situations, they also make sure to discuss issues in private before approaching students. Bev Goldsby, president of NW Sign Solutions, talks about how revenue seemed to come to a complete halt in October 2008. She and her husband, Joe, began tackling the problem together. “We knew we were in this as one, sharing the burden . . . our faith in God grew tremendously through this experience. As our faith grew, so did our business.” Now, they have their three children working part-time at the business. She finds having her kids an active part of the business is a real positive of being a family business owner.
As with most work settings, interpersonal dynamics can get in the way of a company operating smoothly. There might be family members who simply don’t get along well with other relatives, and this will easily carry over into the workplace, causing discontent and frustration for everyone involved.
And even the best of relationships can have communication breakdowns. Gray tells us that when she and her husband are teaching students, their teaching styles sometimes conflict. While the student may be getting mixed messages, Gray says that the trust she and her husband have means that she knows that he’s not undercutting her teaching style, but instead just has a different approach.
Having various approaches to handling stress or workplace conflict with family members can help. First of all, it’s most important to leave your family issues at home. This might be impossible on some days, but it surely must be attempted. In addition, establishing clear channels for communication is also one of the best ways to keep the air clear and business running smooth. Making sure to remember that you love each other should go a long way—forgiveness is always a good thing to learn. Goldsby says that working together has taken an emotional toll on the family at times but that in the end, they have learned “loyalty, perseverance, and creativity.”
The bottom line: look for people in the family who share your passion and work ethics, be sure to set boundaries, and most of all, remember that trust and loyalty go a long, long, way. Goldsby says, “We know that we’re committed to each other. We’re going to work it out. There’s no quitting or deciding to go to another job. We’ll reach a consensus because there’s no other way.”
A lifelong resident of the Pacific Northwest, Brooke Strickland is a freelance writer and editor. When she’s not writing, Brooke can be found in a comfortable chair with a book, or on the Oregon coast with her newborn daughter, husband, and two dogs.
